May 17th, 2026 - I turned 20
May 19th, 2026 - Sitting at the Palace of Fine Arts writing this reflection
Turning 20
It’s crazy to think that I am 20
On one end I am ONLY 20, assuming no tragedy occurs and I live an average life I have 60 more years
On the other end, WTF I ONLY HAVE 60 YEARS LEFT?
What will my life look like in 10 years from now? Will I still love cars as much as I do now? Will I have made my parents proud? Will I have found the one for me? Will I be the person I’ve always strived to be?
What do I do now? I am no longer in University, I have crazy dreams, can I make it? Will I make it? What’ll happen to me if I don’t make it?
I am scared to grow older, will I be able to goof off with my friends the same way I do now? Will the world expect more from me? I am scared that one day I will overthink everything and lose my fun energetic self
Things I’ve Learned
Here are some of the things I’ve learned in 20 years of living, might be bit of a rant:
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Knowledge is a blessing and a curse
living in ignorance means you never know what you could’ve been but knowing all means you always know what you aren’t
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The higher your dreams the more treacherous the path is
It’s never easy, I always see others around me doing great things and all I ever know is the want to be like them, but when I stop myself and ask why am I doing this? I never know the answer, but I am doing it, a lot of the time it’s fun but there are times it isn’t
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Whatever happens in life, put on a smile
Many unexpected things will come your way, and you’ll feel like you can’t do it. Always having a smile on gives you the courage to take the problem head on
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Getting started > Perfection
Don’t get stuck trying to find the perfect way to do something. Most of the time, there isn’t one. What people call the “perfect way” is usually the way that worked for someone else. That doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. Just start, do it the best way you know how, and figure it out as you go
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Nothing is forever
Over the last two years, I’ve been around a lot of different people. I’ve realized that you never really know when it’s the last time you’ll talk to someone, or the last time you’ll get to do something you love. Not all endings are bad, you just have different paths in life. Try to make everyday a better one than yesterday
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You have to realize things for yourself
The last realization is that everything I just said is something you have to figure out on your own. People can give you advice, but unless you go out, experience, and reflect for yourself, it won’t click. You can understand what someone is saying, but you won’t fully relate to it until you’ve lived through it
Final Thoughts
If you have a strong urge to go do something, you should do it. I’d rather do the wrong thing because I thought it was right than give in to pressure and spend the rest of my life wondering what would’ve happened if I chose differently.
Definitely one of my more doomer notes (quarter life crisis), I am surrounded by great people and am living everyday to the fullest. I am doing what I want to, and I know I will do something that’ll make the everyone acknowledge and recognize me for who I am.
Even with all of that there are times when the the noise is gone and you get some time to yourself, thoughts like these come up. Not frequently but I think it’s important to acknowledge the doubts in your life and realize it’ll all work out
20th birthday
Dream crazy. Anything is possible. If your ideas are impactful, the world will bend to accommodate them.